As I am sure you have heard from media outlets, DJ AM passed away this past weekend. Born as Adam Michael Goldstein, DJ AM had an eventful and exciting life that sadly ended too shortly by a demon he had battled previously. As a teen AM became addicted to drugs and his mom, raising him alone, sent him to a tough love rehab center in his hometown of Philly where he suffered horrors further than rehab should be. The counselors spit on them, beat them and starved them as their version of “tough love”. This horrific experience would come into play later in life. After going back to drugs then stopping at age 24 life became good for AM. He was in Crazy Town (yes he was part of that that pop song “Butterfly” that was ridiculously overplayed yet catchy), became a celebrity DJ - where he was spinning you knew the party was good - and opened clubs in Vegas and just recently Atlantic City. Almost a year ago, he and pal Travis Barker of Blink-182 were the only two survivors of a plane crash in South Carolina. Badly burned and suffering from numerous broken bones he was happy to be alive but sad that friends didn’t make it. Months of recovery where pain killers were a necessary evil for the former addict took their toll. DJ AM’s death has been called an overdose (pending toxicology reports) but whether the overdose was intentional is what is the question on everyone’s mind. Why did a guy who had so much going for him, including creating a show for MTV tentatively titled Gone Too Far to help kids get off drugs in a better way than he was treated as a drug addicted teen, go back to drugs? Some theories going around are that he had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Survivor’s Guilt for surviving a plane crash that took friends lives. Being a former addict, he did not want to take painkillers as he knew it could be a gateway to harder drugs that he could easily slip back into but the amount of trauma his body went through necessitated it. Depression over his recent breakup could have also been a trigger to make him go back to his old demons. Regardless of the reason, this should be a wake-up call to anyone suffering from depression, or anxiety disorder from PTSD, especially if they have a history of drug abuse to seek help even if it is just a call to 1-800-HOPELINE to get through that moment you might think to end it all to prevent another tragedy like this. R.I.P
Adam Michael Goldstein “DJ AM” March 30, 1973 – August 28, 2009