My name is Christene and I have a problem with anger. I admit it. I will fly off the handle at a moment’s notice. I always thought it was a byproduct of my anxiety - being so high-strung all the time will kind of cause you to snap easily - but even if I am not anxious I will jump the gun and act on my anger.
Take Saturday for example. My kitchen chair broke (and no even if you read my weight loss blog I am not that fat the back of the chair broke off not the seat from my largessness) so we headed out to a couple of furniture stores to get an idea of what we want. When we walked into a large chain and the hawks came at us and subsequently wouldn’t work with us (a kitchen in a three room apartment cannot fit six chairs no matter what the deal is I only want 4!) I snapped. I got angry and ended up going home and ordering the set online from that same store - and got the deal I wanted - and circumvented the salesclerk getting her commission, all because they came on too strong. You may be saying well that was just spiteful, plus doing your homework you saved a bunch of money. What showed the anger was me calling the store, asking for the aggressive sales clerk and letting her know exactly how I circumvented her.
Being the squeaky wheel that gets the deal is my specialty which is one way my anger and obsessiveness can work in my favor. The anger when I drive however will not. I am such an aggressive driver that will I will follow someone who cut me off for miles - and one time even over a bridge and paid a ridiculous toll - just to give them a friendly one fingered wave can end up getting me in jail or killed one day. Even as I write this my boyfriend keeps asking me questions and I am controlling the urge to shove the mouse in his mouth to shut him up so I can finish this. Yes I know I have issues and if I’m not concentrating will act on it. So how can I control myself?
I have my own version of anger management. Little things like laying off the caffeine and making sure I’m not hungry are two little ways that I can help control myself. Jittery and hungry in a crowded store or parking lot for me is like I’m a can of gas and someone pulling a stupid stunt like taking the parking spot I was gunning for will be a match to that gas can. So if I am going shopping, or anywhere dealing with the public for that matter, I make sure I get the latte after my trip and have a snack before I go in.
I hate that I have to constantly monitor myself before going in public but with my anger and anxiety I will be a mess without my little checks in place. Other methods are timing my public appearances to non-peak times, and even though it sounds corny, taking deep breaths. The taking deep breaths is twofold though, it calms me down and it conveys my annoyance with the offending party so they back off.
Anyone else suffer from anger issues? How do you deal with them?